JeeRay. / @BS.COM

2010-08-04T22:22:00.002+08:00

2010-06-29T21:41:00.001+08:00

2010-04-28T17:16:00.002+08:00

i jus had a dream . a nightmare , that felt like hours of horror , but when i woke up . only 6 minutes had past . heres what i can remember so far from th nightmare . i never wanna have such shit ever again . you may call me crazy or whatever . tis is all i have in my state of shock .

it was so frking real .

again .

jus like i had said

a nightmare that felt like hours of horror . When i woke up , only 6 minutes had past .

i had a similar nightmare before

was about ju-on -.-

freak it .

suddenly

im in my house

my house is like a way where

idk how say nvm

but in th dream

it was my house linked so some long corridor .

den idk why there was like a party going on

not alot of peopl

balloons .

along th only stretch of corridor

air-conditioned btw .

every 10m or so wil have a class number pasted on top of th wall

near th ceiling

in my dream almost every class was "selling" th same thing

orange juice from a dispenser

idk k its jus in my head probably came from homecoming that we're planning for .

idk why are you reading tis .

okay

so everyone left .

jus my older sister

younger sis who was stil very irritating

my mom

and gerald

okay at that moment it was night .

if i rmb correctly it wasn't my older sister

but some auntie had brought this princess girl to my house to stay

at tis point of time i didnt feel like my home

it jus had th same artitectual feel

okay so erm . if yknow what pon tian taks are .

th princess girl who was staying where were we .

suddenly in th dark i saw her she had ju-on which is curse

meaning shes already dead .

but th curse lives inside her .

so she had basically come to kill US .

for some reason running away was not an opinion in my mind

so i hurried to tel my mom .

she was sleeping with th auntie

who took care of th princess girl

i was like

"mommy let me sleep with you . let me freaking sleep with you seriously" .

my mommy didnt know why but she know i was damned serious

so i brought my stuff , which was actually nothing we jus arranged th bed

uh .

yeah

my younger sister and th princess came in .

i was like FREAK

GRACE

GET OUT NOW

YOU FRIKING GET OUT NOW

den my mom was like as usual grace jus go out ..

den we went out .

initially th plan was jus to lock my moms door

den we sleep

idk why but locking doors was so ideal LOL .

as in ideal to hide from th freaking zombies .

i somehow knew th aunitie or rather nanny of th princess could turn into a zombie too .

like those pon tian taks .

thats why i asked my mom to stay away

suddenly down th hall my baby brother began playing catching with me

at that moment i was freaking paranoid

i was like

he's bad too

so in my dream he is bad

uh

yeah

i ran to th kitchen which was at one end .

den i ran back to my room , basically i was trying to lose him

den when i reached my pit dark room

cos tis .

figure of th nanny

sitting down

she had white hair tht she didnt have before

she wasnt moving

but th next time i knew was to SHIT RAN TH HECK OUT NOW . she jus transformer-ed herself.

my babybrother chased me in to th room i went out

he stil got his stupid smilinh face .

i ran to th kitchen

stil trying to lose my baby brother cos i didnt want to suddenly catch up with me if i stop and suddenly change into that freaking one of them

den even before i reaching th kitchen i turned bac

cos th kitchen was freaking pitch dark

and i don rmb anyone

anyone at all turning off th lights

cos i jus ran in and out of th room

th next moment den when i stopped to turn back

as i turned i saw th freaking ju on princess

den i was like kknccbb$%^&*()^%^&ufkuk

im dead .

den she made some horny sound or th sound that pon tian taks make when they wanna kill you

grabbed my hand

i closed my eyes

and said

"i have to believe tis is a dream den tis is a dream"

den i wake up .

you gotta pray for me i think im under too much stress for exams .

2010-04-19T22:05:00.002+08:00

hey guys long time no blog (: above is a picture of my classtee im currently working on ! :D

2010-04-17T00:13:00.002+08:00

God has a plan for everybody , everytime . jus wanna share tis short experience (:

Weekends are always hectic for me .
Tomorrow was actually very clashing for th initial schedule .
meaning . i was supposed to have jamming at 9a.m.
Den i had science chemistry remedial @ school at 8a.m. . so i was like . crap . have to go for my remedial cos exams are comingggg . so yeah . den physics is at 10 . ZZZZ . haha . so i'll miss jamming and phebe's worship session .

DEN GUESS WHAT . 180 DEGREES TURN .

Josiah had exams in th morning . so jamming's at 2p.m. ( stil clash with my drum lesson but hey at least not as bad (; ) hahah . and phebe's worship session , i've jus been infrmed that its beeen postponed ! LOL :D YAY !

PTL !

2010-04-16T21:32:00.002+08:00

i feel like a girl sometimes .

mood swings in class . mostly . change so fast over your smses .
really happy to see and spend time with you today again .
even though i know i again uber screwed up , i know i am , i jus hope i made your day brighter .

but im stil unassured . are you really for real . or do you think im kidding and playing along . at times i ask in hope for th truth , and you replied half-heartedness . i saddens my heart anw .

imy . don torture me kayyyy~

2010-04-14T19:50:00.002+08:00

im so tied up .

competitions , so i have stacks of unfinished homework . lessons not attended so im stil behind syllabus .

class tee , date line in 5 days . i don't even have a proper solid idea of what im going to design .

so drained .

&you ,

you mean whole much to me. you're so different from others . its not a bad thing . i love you for who you are . im not even sure i should be posting all these all everyone to see . should i lock my blog . ): thats so sad . my blog is to also vent out everything i have to say .

anyway my real wish . is whenever im with you . gimme th right words . actions . to say . Lord . show me how to love you . in a way you'll recognize it . cos words through texts are ... idk how you receive them . but you sending one small word of love is REALLY REALLY ALOT TO ME that it can turn my mood 180 degrees . ask my deskmate in class i went crazy when you told me your dream .

every word you say goes straight through th heart~~

okay . i wanna change th topic .

i wanna talk about my track nats(:
I GOT TWO POINTS FOR MY TRACK B DIV YAY HAHAHAHA .
im quite proud of it cos im like an underdog + sec 3 + i nvr trained for th event i took + i was injured during in-season .

BUT BY GOD'S GRACE , ALL GLORY TO GOD HE ANSWERED MY PRAYERS AND GAVE ME 12.13m I WAS NEVER EVER CAPABLE OF A TRIPLE JUMP . BUT I DID IT . HALLELUJAH .

yepp , today was th last day of track finals . C Div got 2nd (grats!) and we got 7th . awww . but next year we're aiming high hahaha . i have a desire for a medal next year . im not sure for what event . BUT . i have to train 2x hard if i really want it . plus O levels next year . idk ...

but anyway thanks for reading i really feel blogging helps to calm my emotions better .

wanna thank th people who cheered me up esp NAOMI CHIA ! (: thanks so much~

God bless you all , pray to God he really answers our prayer .

2010-04-03T09:12:00.023+08:00

sorry for not blogging for SO long ...

its like nationals season now . and im like . kinda disappointed ... i guess .

it all started ytd . i reached CCK stadium at uhhh ... 6.45a.m. around thr i guess ? yeaps . so i warmed up and everything with wayne&louis etc. Our long jump qualifying event was at 9.15a.m. , second long jump heats . wayne was in th first . so went i reached th pit i was surprised all we had to do was jump 5.3m and as long as we cleared it , we can sit down and yay we're into th finals .

so wayne , louis and me got into th finals on our first jump . and its like ... nothing really . like 3/4 of th competitors qualified ..... i think . hahahah . okay mooooooving on . aft that we went back to th stadium ( okay here i'll try to do a sketch of th stadium track and julmping pit (: )

____________............. _______________............. _____________
......................l.........../........................... \........... l........................l
......................l...........l.............................l............l........................l
......................l...........l.............................l............l........................l
......................l...........l.............................l............l........................l
......................l...........l.............................l............l........................l
......................l...........l.............................l............l........................l
......................l...........l.............................l............l........................l
......................l...........l.............................l............l........................l
......................l...........l............................/............l........................l
____________l.............-----------------------.............l______________l

okay as you can see . errr . on th left is th stadium . th red is th track , den th blue is th jumping area . excuse th super ugly drawing ): i took me 10minutes to do that :/ HAHA . okayokay moving on . so when we went for our finals , which was 2.30 in th afternoon , we warmed up at 1 ... yeah . that time we slack and do nothing for hours so it was so damn shack alr kay but it stil wasn't that bad . den we went to th pit to do trial jumps like practise before the real thing yeah . suddenly it rained like JI BA POOOOM ! D: D: D: (RAWRFEARME@BS.COM) yeah . den we camped under th tentage area for like long long . ): had no place to sit so stand like nehnehs . aft that people came to rescue us with umbrellas hahaha ! so we were th last few to go back . we took off our shoes and walked past th dirty muddy field ): yuck . but its okay we're hardcore . haha , aft which we thought event postponed . cos got lightning . i was like . ehhh i abit mentally prepared leh ): . so thus i "off my comp" if u know what i mean haha . den SUDDENLY MUCH TO MY HORROR THEY WERE CALLING US BACK INTO TH CALL ROOM ! I WAS LIKE HUH HUH HUH STIL NEED AAH WAAAH LAO ! so i went to th call room .

SUPER SHACK . SUPER SIAN .

went to th pit , i was like at th back list of th maybe 20 jumpers ? so sian sian la no space to sit (th bench were occupied by shoe bags and some "kings and queens") . i stood th whole time .
i fouled my first jump . back pain .
i fouled my second jump . BACK UBER PAIN . wayne don wan help me massage ):
i prayed like crazy to God . gimme a good jump Lord , its all up to you now . if i do well , praise be to you Lord , if i foul my last jump , i wil stil praise you .

"197 ! 3rd Attempt !" th official called out . th competitor stepped out of th tentage . he was looking drenched from th days' activites , he was freaking skinny , and he knew it . he didn't want it to be that way either . he exhaled a few times and went back and forth as a sign how he was preparing himself for th jump . den he started his 15 steps run up .
.
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POOM ! (NO IT DIDN'T BECOME KOKOCRUNCH!)

th competitor landed with a loud cry , turned back and saw th WHITE flag . CLEAR ! HALLELUJAH ! but he knew he didn't jump far . at all .

"5.6 ... 66... 5.63 !" th official read out his distance .
he walked back with his head hung low in defeat ...

hais . yeapps . thats my story guys . stil , praise to be God . my normal jumping distance during training was 5.7m . wasn't competition supposed to be better ? :/ anw im not alone . wayne under performed too .

however , he stil is proud of his 100m event tis monday . root for him . me ? i got triple jump , on thursday . i've never trained for it . or hardly . my back hurts now . and i gotta go for trg . sorry for th super long post . if you endured tis far , thanks for listening to my rubbish ..

hais ): . okay ... yeah . God bless you yeahs , thanks for reading again !

-istilwantadrumset):

2010-03-15T12:46:00.000+08:00

I miss ....

loving someone who loves you back , appreciating and cherishing someone who cherishes you back ...

2010-03-03T16:04:00.009+08:00

i sanctified my phone ! (:
i removed songs that don glorify God from it ): . however songs like taylorswift BLG are stil okay so they're stil in it(:

but on th bad note my phones really getting screwed up its like sometimes line line line when i unlock it . like ... like .. like this :

_________
l ..............l
l ------------l
l ------------l
l ------------l
l ------------l
l_________l
l .--. --.. -- l
--------------

not a very good drawing its sucks but hope you get th idea muahahaha :D

well nothing much accept i've started taking up books to read(: jus borrowed 2 from th library one about V for Vendetta and The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde O:

wanted to find out about th split personality guys for a longlong time now . woots . competition getting nearer and nearerer): i don like . pls pray for me ! hahaha all th best and God bless for those having their papers tis week too ! :D

2010-03-01T21:30:00.002+08:00

this reallyreallyyreallyyy short post is dedicated to JiwonPark!

JEE-WON-PARK(:

she did uber well in her netball match today against i think RGS hahaha X:
although her team lost by ONLY 2 POINTS !
SHE DID REALLLY REALLLY WELLL !!!! *applause*
dont emo laahhh overr one match ; its okay . there are so many other things you can do well in !!
REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY . don do stupid things to hurt yourself again >:l

rootingforyalaajeejee(x

-jeeray XP

2010-03-01T13:12:00.002+08:00

hey yo ! :X

waaah it really sucks to not be in school for one day .

3 unhanded assignments , and 2 tests T.T now im like in th school library .
cos its english period and they're going through th test paper O: so like hmm YEPP im taking it aft school .

anw lets talk about yesterday . actually sunday(ytd) was really great . started off with going to church super early and jamming for hi_kids cos it was th actual day we were leading hi_kids . somehow something was bugging me ... hm . but shall not talk about it . yet . maybe . :x bu zhi dao . okay so right aft that we had to start by th time we finished practising (YEAH IT WAS PREEETTY LOOONG O:) . and ... it was ... dead . yeah . but thats okay thats natural , and we jus did our thing and yeah . we worshipped , some ( SOME AHHH ) of th kids only some were responsive .

talking about tis i would like to talk about noww . its like . don't you jus feel children are jus maturing too fast ? hm . its not a bad thing . but th pure innocent and uniform mind is , at such a young age too "knowledgeable" about stuff like . handphone . psp . nintendo ds . basically technology and girls are so young all about fashion already O.O . woah its like all th in thing that starts at their teen age starts at like lower primary ? thats . weeeird . uh huh uh huh .

like my sister she likes High School Musicial . i admit its not a bad show it has good music dancing woohooo tralala stuff but th storyline behind i didnt think it was able to caputure primary ONES liking . or was it jus under th influence of her peers . cos HSM was about teenage romance . about zacnessa . speaking of which its time to put a picture into my post .

Zanessa .

That was long ago thinking about it from now isn't it .

Even Vanessa had to go through so much . even a scandal of her picture going around th net . hmmm :/

okay sidetrack over back to topic yeah .

aft which hi_kids was over we went for breakfast . uber HUN gar REE . den when we went back for service pastoralvin was talking about idols and yeah i took some notes down . there and then during service that same feeling came back gargargagrhh . yeah . so mhmm yada yada oh yeah PHEBE led worship that day YEAH PHEBE (: . she's a really inspring role model i look up to yeah haha.

aft main service i went up for STORM jamming . it was better than yesterdays and also enjoyable hahah (: and THATS GOOD !

<>

den we went for quick lunch ... hurried back with thaddeus&justinBRADDERS . LOL den we had prayer and started worship . for th first time there were no screwups like major ones i was SO SO SO THANKFUL TO GOD i personally had a good time of worship and conviction even though i was at th drum set i talked to God about something that was bothering me ..

omg i gotta go ): sorry guys . its a uber long post but i hope you enjoyed reading it . please ask me to visit your blogs via your cbox i would love to hear from you guys and tag your blogs too aft all bloggers blog for th readers to read and to voice out how they feel too yeah (:

peaceoutt worshippers(;

- ifeelrenewedagain

2010-02-26T14:40:00.003+08:00

):

im sick ! D:

ytd during gym trg halfway i was feeling uber weak and aaaah ): .

den a shiver came and i knew a fever was coming ! thats why i'm not in school today ..

missed english&maths test ! sian ! anyway thanks for those who showed concern (:

tis wil be a short post (: i gotta go do some audio editing CYA~

2010-02-24T16:55:00.005+08:00

rawrr ! so sorry guys i haven't posted in so long !

so MANY MANY MANY things have happened since my last post . hais . on th social side its not going very well ):

BUT ON TH ACADEMIC SIDE YAY :D ! im more motivated to study nowadays and its through when you see th paper and you go , WOW SO EASY YEAH HAHAHA and all your classmates aft th paper you ask them, "eh paper easy right!" they go like . huh ? yeah okay laa ... HAHAHA XD JUUUUST KIDDING XD . but yeah thats th way it should be !

rmb my iMac and laptop got confiscated ? yeah its becos i played 3 hours of DotA due to th demoralisation(no such word ah :D) i got from my A Maths test . den my mom yelled at me and told me that i'll fail my 2 tests th following day T.T

BUT HEY ! why am i posting now !? its becos i GOT BACK BOTH OF MY TESTS , AND SCORED A UBER IN YOUR FACE A1 FOR BOTH TESTS :D . if i don get back my comp i can "go 5th floor jump down already" . inside joke .

anyway CONGRATS to MS KHOO FOR PASSING HER DRIVING TEST(: i don even think she's gonna read tis haha XD . im gonna find something cool to post about soon , probably about social stuff . cos what happened weeks ago ... hais . nvm (: alot of ppl emoing now i don wanna join them . HAHA .

Thanks for coming back to read again sorry i took so long ! hope you liked th top picture (x !

2010-02-09T15:54:00.003+08:00

tis is so demoralising.

its my 3rd day into th exam . i personally thought today was one of th most stressful one . yet , th papers i did . i felt that they were such a breeze . Why ? they were such a breeze . ironic , i got back my A Maths results today , as in yeah i did my paper today too . and i got freaking ...

19/30 . pathetic . yeah some of you might think its alot or what but seriously ? i really wanted my distinctions ... argh . tis is so screwed . its been a long time i've been serious in class LISNTENING , not sleeping , wanting to do well . studied . and 19/30 . i jus totally lost my drive for my other papers ;

is this all because of that stupid one incident ? its so ridiculous . i seriously think you're annoying . its sad to say but its reality . you're annoying . and i cant do it anymore .

2010-02-08T20:47:00.008+08:00

} won't be blogging as much .
} exams :/ so yeahh .
} kinda stressed out but wil be free in a few days time .
} thanks for reading anw(x God bless you ! i'll share with you guys sth since you're so awesome ^^

-gerald is uber zilian ! XP

2010-02-05T23:04:00.006+08:00

-we miss you Mr.Goh

hey guys its my 11:06p.m. post today ! :D

first off i'll be doing my first tag replies post really glad more people are coming be sure to come bakk more often !!

------------------- TAG REPLIES#1: _____________

@GENIE - YAY HLF i linked you lerhs ! :D with a starstar so its COOLTTMX ! (:

@JANNA O: - OHHH . SO I DON'T LINK YOU AH :D hahah ! Jkjkaye !

@random person - YAY SEE I SO GOOD ADVERTISE YOU LEH :D HAHA LINK ME KAY CHOC(x Have fun@ prac tmr !! if you are playing hahah , TOFU DUCK FTW ! ^^
______________

right now im talking to a friend i've never talked to for so long . i rmb staying up with her on msn til 1/2+ jus chattin bein' there . i miss those times . i treasure everyone one of them(; . hahas , today has its ups and downs . oh i really shouldn't be staying up i actually have trg tmr morning @ 7 :X . tmr hectic schedule cccheccckkk ittt out !

5:30 Wake Up
7:00 Trg
8:30(hopefully!) Bathe&all
9:00 Science Remedial all th way til ! ... ... ...
11:30 ! HIONG RIGHT ! kay now make my way to ... Upper Bukit Timah Road ! :D for ..
1:00 Drum lesson ! (timing actually not confirmed yet...) i'll grab sth to eat maybe(:
2:00 RUN RUN RUN TO BUKIT GOMBAK STADIUM MY BABE ELISA.DJUHAR IS RUNNING AND JANNA IS JUMPING =D =D !

hahah and thats all for now hahaha yeah ! anw something sad happened .
c
Cc cc c
cccCc

MY 'C' KEY came out jus now ! i used Blu-Tack to fixed it bak now its so hard to press alot of my c don ome out . SEE ! ):
*come

okay i gotta go back talking to my HLF here's a really great Singaporean YouTube Singer i shall not post her video on my blog but maybe a link hahah go check her out HEEHEE :D !

~ wheatrainbows @ YouTube

Take A Bow (Cover) - Rihanna !

okay goodnights guys thanks so much for reading leave a tag regarding ANYTHING~ ^^

2010-02-04T12:14:00.006+08:00

Hey guys tis wil be my first official blogpost (: ! i'll be posting about something that jus happened):

*****************************************************************************************************************

WARNING!
THIS POST CONTAINS SEXUAL LANGUAGE INAPPROPRIATE FOR THE ... FOR .. FOR WHOEVER'S NOT ALLOWED AND UNPREPARED FOR SICK STUFF . FOR THE PURE-HEARTED AND NOT INTERESTED IN SICK STUFF , PLEASE SKIP TO THE GREEN PART OF THE POST BELOW. THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND UNDERSTANDING(:

*****************************************************************************************************************

Alright , i just had this conversation moments ago and BEFORE YOU READ , I WOULD LIKE YOU TO WARN YOU NOT TO CLICK ANY LINKS FOUND IN THE CONVERSATION BELOW . Don't even think about it !

jirehh(x - standinthrain. says:
hey
you are ?

AsuncionDerer0172@hotmail.com says:
hey hunni!

jirehh(x - standinthrain. says:
you are ?

AsuncionDerer0172@hotmail.com says:
well, first off, i'm 24/f and your a male right?

jirehh(x - standinthrain. says:
erm yeah .

AsuncionDerer0172@hotmail.com says:
oh ok sweetie! I just got off work and feeling a little kinky, which site did i msg you from again?

jirehh(x - standinthrain. says:
you're 24 years old ?
im not sure you jus added me on msn .

AsuncionDerer0172@hotmail.com says:
ahh tahts right! sorry i don't remember, do you cam?

jirehh(x - standinthrain. says:
hey you haven't intro yourself .
you are ?

AsuncionDerer0172@hotmail.com says:
Well i don't do yahoo cam or any other cam because i have been recorded before... But i do know one site you can watch me on cam, that assures me no one records...

jirehh(x - standinthrain. says:
oh okay thats cool

AsuncionDerer0172@hotmail.com says:
I mean... Do you want to see me on my cam bb?

jirehh(x - standinthrain. says:
not until i know who you are lols .

AsuncionDerer0172@hotmail.com says:
Ok go to http://bit.ly/teodj3279 accept the invite on the page baby

jirehh(x - standinthrain. says:
(:

AsuncionDerer0172@hotmail.com says:
yay!, fill out the info ur info.. i can not wait for you to see me baby let me find something nice to wear

jirehh(x - standinthrain. says:
(:

AsuncionDerer0172@hotmail.com says:
if your internet is slow the site will load a bit slow, but don't worry, you'll see me sexy!

jirehh(x - standinthrain. says:
(:

AsuncionDerer0172@hotmail.com says:
its the sites policy to ensure no minors get access to the site, so they might ask for CC to verify your age babe.

jirehh(x - standinthrain. says:
(:

AsuncionDerer0172@hotmail.com says:
Ok let me know when you get in so I can invite you directly to my cam.

jirehh(x - standinthrain. says:
(:

AsuncionDerer0172@hotmail.com says:
u have to enter a cc, atm, or debit card so they can tell your of age, thats the ony way to see me sweety
k you in yet babe??

jirehh(x - standinthrain. says:
nice scam robot .

AsuncionDerer0172@hotmail.com says:
scam wtf?!?
k

-----------------------------------END-------------------------------

This is getting ridiculous of course the conversation should END here !
Robots ? Programmed to entice males by adding them and asking them to go to some WEBCAM PORN SITE ?

I. DON'T. THINK. SO.

As you all know i'm clean pure and innocent hearted :D ^^^^ , so IM TOTALLY AGAINST TIS RAWRFEARME.BLOGSPOT.COM (Charlotte's blog be sure to visit&tag ! :D) ! okay that was a random advertisement .

Anyway lets get things on a clean note shall we this post is getting too long(: . So anyway what you do think ? leave a tag at th side why you think such people would go to such extent of programming jus to scam people's $ . Newspaper reports often come out about these scams . Its so saddening): . SO BE VIGILANT ! Never fall into these traps BABEH !

okay to end of i would like to share a YouTube video ! Tis a Beatbox made by tis guy called DavidMeShow(click to go to his site) . Its really awesome ! okay CHAO OUTSIDE have a great day guys don forget to leave a tag ^^ ~

tis post has been rated PG14 -

2010-02-03T01:11:00.001+08:00

YEAH!
my blog's finally done up now i've left with you guys to go gimme your new links , rate my blog design and yeah ! :D

I HEART RED&BLACK if ya didn't know alreadyyyy . hahah .
its 1.11a.m. :D ; goodnights everyone(x !

-ihopethpastyoudoesntcomeback):

2010-02-01T23:27:00.006+08:00

i'm currently working on th blog pic. above .
here's so far what i've managed to do:

wil be changing th entire blog colour layout after i finish th picture . thanks for being here&being awesome(: . i feel much better than jus now already . feels good to be back . pls tel me your new blog links mine are like super old hahahah XD . thanks again !!

- Godasksustoprayforourenemies,yourenotnotmyenemy;
istilloveyouasafriendbutidontknowhowtoshowit

2010-02-01T21:55:00.004+08:00

hey.
this blog was created on 1/2/10 ; 9:56p.m.

i've decided to start again . why ? cos i lost my voice .

- whycantyouopenyoureyesandstopbeingsoselfish ? ;